`turn back time

2005-12-22T12:05:00.000+08:00

MOVED BABES!!

http://scentedcandles-.blogspot.com

2005-12-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

Don't feel like blogging much.

Band Chalet: (19th to 21st)
Those helping with the buying of food and stuff,
12nn at bedok inter near bus 17. (19th)
Those just coming for funness, (whether or not you're staying over)
5pm at tanah merah safra on the 19th
For those not staying over,
can come back anytime on the 20th.
there'll be bbq for both nights.

We'll send out the chalet bungalow numbers if a certain someone would reply our smses and pick her phone up. but i suppose we can only send them out on monday itself. We're checking out at like 9am on the 21st so no point coming on thurs. There'll be bbq for both nights so yeah.

Band members please be reminded that your hw is knowing the piece "fever" so we'll be able to play on the 27th. Sls you're supposed to remind your section members to at least read the score.

I know not many band members come to my blog so those who do, please help me tell your SLs that the whole section MUST be familiar with the piece "fever" by the 27th of Dec.

Repetoire for Concert:
1. Renegade Dances
2. Autumn Leaves
3. The Legend of the Eagles (JB)
4. Twist & Shout (JB)
5. The Legend of Danny Boy (Combined)
6. Sock Hop Tonight (Combined)
7. Fever(encore)
8. Instant Concert (stand by)

If anyone is wondering why this entry is so about band, it's because I just received an email from our conductor, Jason De Hamel, and it's not very reassuring. In a nutshell, he wants our band to take more initiative and etc. if anyone actually cares, please ask me online what the email was about. but i doubt anyone would bother because that's what our band consists of. Only a few who actually cares and the rest just don't give a fuck about it.

2005-12-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

Yay I'm updating! woohoos! hahaha.

I come with happy happy tidings.

FIONA'S BACK!!! yes i KNOW she's been back for like 2-3 days but i only JUST got the time to update my blog so THERE. wahaha.

Since saturday not much has happened. Except, i went SHOPPING ON MONDAY!! woohoo!! I spent like $90? Bloody hell. And i came back in a good mood cos i only bought ONE item for myself and the rest for others. Christmas presents, obviously. And now happiness!

Unfortunately, when i returned home, I received my handphone bill. Let's just say it was pretty bad. haha. Therefore my handphone is confiscated AGAIN and I have no means of communication AGAIN. But the bright side is that I won't be awakened in the middle of the night of early in the morning by the beautiful sounds of my phone vibrating. hoho.

Yes I'm in a rather good mood now, in case you couldn't tell. haha. Oh and i'm $120 poorer because of the phone bill. Which means i'm TOTALLY BROKE NOW. *tempted to be vulgar* And the people I haven't bought presents for are the ones who mean most to me. argh. *chants* shall not be vulgar. shall not be vulgar. shall not be vulgar

I am a reformed sinner. see i'm not vulgar anymore. haha. at least, not on my blog. well it's a start right? right. let me continue thinking that way please. =P

And now, comments.

beefy: oh yeah. i'm abit lazy to put lor. haha!!!
sc: erm.. am i supposed to be? HAHA.
ernestine: WALAO I DON'T STALK HIM LOR. wth! who wanna stalk him? bleargh *pukes*
eunice: hahaha! it's not a stupid reason! i'ts perfectly acceptable!!
fiona: aiyah you and your stupid bears! hahaa! your lips ok le ma? peel peel peel. like SAI.
kt: ya ya!! nice right!! hahaha i like can!! and cheap too. lols
adlin: oh right. but now i've been there le so i don't need you! hahaha! eh i sent you an email. go see. =))

2005-12-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

oh today was pure fun-ness!!! woohoo!! I love christmas!!!! *hums White Christmas dreamily* I think these hols are my all time favourite hols. I've never enjoyed any other holiday more than this one. hehs =)

Btw I didn't sleep at all last night. lols. thanks max! for staying up with me the whole night. hehs!

come come i shall say why today was so super fun. first went to fran's house and slacked there at like 5++. then went off to Lau Pa Sat at 6pm cos Nic asked me to go support his band cos they were performing there. plus I, being a stupid little sua gu, have never been to Lau Pa Sat and wanted to see how it was like. So i went. and the performance was bloody boring. waste of my transport fare. had dessert there and realised Mr Glosz was sitting JUST IN FRONT OF ME. when i saw him he smiled and i like waved back lor. SO PS. GOSH he probably thinks I'm stalking him or something cos I'm always at his band performances.

Went to orchard after that. k went to this clothes shop in ngee ann city. I'M IN LOVE WITH IT. never loved a clothes shop so much before!!! stupid me never bring enough money though. but omg i'm so in love with their clothes lor. yeah man. then went to taka cos i felt like brownies. but decided to try pistaschio(sp?) and chocolate maceroons(sp?) instead. the chocolate ones were HEAVEN!! omg so superbly nice. went to buy another one cos it was just so yummy! haha.

After that we went to Paragon to the Chrismas display thing for Fran to buy something to put on top of her tree. Both of us got into a total and absolute christmassy mood. Niceness!! Really didn't wanna leave the place man. haha. I suddenly felt like buying stuff but it was already 10pm and many shops were closed. So we went to taka cos they had extended their time to 10.30. And i bought this cute little purse-like thing. supposed to be for digi cam but I'm gonna use it as a purse. hehs.

We were so tired after that and were like dozing off in the train back home. As usual, i was stoning. hahaha. Hm i have loads of stuff I wanna buy now.. Love christmas!!!

I decided to reply comments here! =))

beefy: lols. i said it would be a long entry what. haha. LOTR=Lord of The Ring
nickee: Linked dearies =))
eunice: HAHA ya lor. act cute man. lol lol
ernestine: can you don't so vulgar? put "fkn" hahaha. but i agree la. she's cHaO jIXx aCt CuTeXx wOrXx~`:// hahaha!!!!!
and you know what i want MEH? i never even tell you lor!!! haha! better explain yourself!

2005-12-10T02:41:00.000+08:00

lols. it's 2.45 and I'm awake. blogging. wth. I think this is gonna be a long entry. haha. because I have loads to blog about and I haven't really been blogging as regularly as i used to. well the reason why i'm awake is cos i was sleeping when amanda called and asked me to conference with her, gen, weelyn. so i did and now can't get back to sleep. haha wth.

Hmm. My last few entries have been really weird. I think I went through a personality transplant or something. Haha. wth. I think I always get wonky during the holidays. Btw I deleted yesterday's entry. It's bloody stupid man. haha!

oh another reason why I can't sleep is probably cos my body clock is like all messed up. I've been sleeping at like 2 or 3++ every night lately. so yeah. Hmm dunno how to get it alright again.

K lets talk about yesterday and today. Hm. Yesterday went out to celebrate Kt's birthday. Met with Eunice for some job interview thing then later met cindy, audrey, amanda and khai theng. (hope i didn't miss anyone out). went sakae sushi. ate alot can. walao. fat le. then weelyn came.. and after a while ernestine came with a friend, Don.

After that we walked around Heeren and some of them share money to buy Kt a present. haha. that tasmanian devil toy. walao damn bloody big lor. if carry around abit PS right? so ern and I got Kt to leave it in the shop first. walao the salesgirl SUPER act cute can. argh. and I SWEAR SHE'S LESBIAN. she kept staring at *ahem* haha. i'm nice so i won't say her name. hahaha..

we shopped around Heeren abit. Heeren has the WEIRDEST people. Seriously. We were like on the second floor looking down then there was this couple all over each other. haha. then eunice dared me to say "SO SWEET" really loudly. and i DID. hahaha. but of course i ran off la. hahaha. lucky thing i did cos the girl actually heard me and looked up. haha so PS!! then there was this girl who's BUTT CRACK was like so obvious. the we look somemore and realised it was her PANTIES THAT WAS SHOWING not her actually butt. walao. wanna wear hipster don't wear such HIGH panties la. wtf! haha. and can you believe it. i went up to her and told her. HAHAHA. but she didn't give two hoots about it. haha.

someone then suggested going to kbox and ended up going to partyworld. omg the place looked like a pub!!!! but nvm. so we asked how much it was and they siad it was $60. so ok la. quite cheap right? then the dude went to calculate dunno what sai and ended up being $125. WTH!! it being so ex, plus the fact that the whole place reeked of cigs we decided not to go. so we went cine to eat at BK cos Ern and Don hadn't eaten yet. then walked around cine abit then went home with Ern and Don. haha.

Then today? hmm. went to georgina's house with denise. haha. it was nice la.. watched amadeus and abit or LOTR. Denise and I didn't wanna leave lor. that's the effect g's house has on lots of people.

went out for dinner. then came home lor. hehs.

ok it's 3.05 now. I'm super hungry.

anw like my new template? still have some work to do though. lols.

2005-12-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

aah!! fiona's gone!! so sad!!!! no one to maple and crap with me le!! =(=(

anw today's kt's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! =)=).

aiyah i actually blog le.. then got error. so the whole entry is gone. erp.

anw today went airport with eunice and fiona.. hahaha wasted another 5 hours. hahaha. supposed to study but erm.. no studying was done. haha. hmm told each other ghost stories. eunice abit lan. never even say one story. hahahaha.

aiyah dunno what to blog le. except that i miss NCO camp alot suddenly. sighss. haha!

i miss sir.. hm.. some seniors met up with him the other day.. =(=( miss him man..

2005-12-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

aah! i'm so sad!!! cos i'm fat!!! haha. that kinda rhymes.

ok the previous entry was plain appalling. my english was like terrible lol. and vulgarities all over. i was gonna be vulgar again today cos the TROMBONE SECTION GIRLS DIDN'T COME. make us go at 12pm then they never appear. so gen and I stayed there for 2 hours then amanda came then we left. Siewcheng, go chop your section upside down. not me hor. the best thing was that when I came home, noor'ain called me up and ask to open the band room. erp. no comments.

anw. yesterday i went jogging with fiona. hahaha it was so spur of the moment la. like we were on the phone then she just said "lets go jogging" hahaha and we just liddat go down. erm erm erm. abit weird hor. hahaha. then it was so embarrassing. cos the people jogging around the estate all kind of old la. haha then they run round and round and we only can run half a round. haha so lousy right. but beginner what hahaha.

then today we went jogging again. haha. but today not so bad. but that fiona leng supposed to meet her sister. then we wait at one bus stop while her sister waiting at the other. so dumb right!! so we jog over to her sister's bus stop and her sister walk over to ours. and we walked different routes so we missed each other -.-" so dumb!! argh.. hahaha then after that we went to play tennis. hahahahaha!!!! i can die playing with fiona lor. hahaha she dunno how to hit the ball de. then she hit upwards like playing badminton. hahahaha. so dumb. argh!!!!

reminder to all:
tml combined for people performing for mr de's wedding
2pm to 5pm.
we have to move instruments down to classroom so all must come.

saturday fall in 8am FULL BAND U.

i'm hungry. very very very hungry.

2005-11-30T20:32:00.000+08:00

argh!! i'm so pmsing!!! come i say what happened lol.

my sister and i were like happily mapling la. then the phone rang. then both of us training what. so we took very long to pick up the phone. then i was like "WHICH BASTARD IS THAT" and it was my dad. haha. and i think he heard cos i pick up le then say. abit bad of me right? but too bad. haha. then he come ask me some stupid questions about cameras and batteries and my maple character which i had just fed pots until hp full was hanging somewhere. then he talk talk talk talk so much that i genna knock down by orange mushroom and hantam by every single orange mushroom there. WALAO. so pissed lor. and i don't even know what he was asking.

k nvm. then after that i recover my maple character le hor, some idiot go and call my hp. WALAO. then tell me trombone section tml 11am to 1pm. I NEED TO SLEEP WAN LOR. ARGH. stupid. so pissed off le. ARGH. see? pms? RAAAAAAH.

SO ANNOYING

OMG AND SOME FUCKER JUST CALLED MY HP. WHEN I SAY HELLO SHE HANG UP. FUCK LA. arrrggh!!!!!!

and now the fucker ask me go sch at 12pm. FUCK YOU LA. argh. DAMN PISSED.

RAAAAAH

2005-11-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

haha today was damn funny. laugh until stomach ache. haha. went for band at 11 with gen and fiona. then self-practice for 2 and a half hours straight. so tiring! play until giddy. haha. then sectionals i polish instrument and taught chandni and judy abit of theory. i'm a lousy teacher. haha!!

oh man then after that me and fiona went to walk 2 rounds around simei st 4. hahaha. cos we felt fat. hahaha! then we saw this fat girl with huge legs. then i got paranoid and look at my own legs. HAHA. then the guy walking past us also look down. HAHAHAHA. walao. then that guy damn retarded please. hahaha he got lost in simei? erm erm? hahahahaha.

haha then fiona and i decided to go jogging around simei after band practices end. meaning next week onwards la.. haha! during the 2 rounds we were so high la. hahahaha walking around like drunkards. hahahahaha. then we took so long to walk cos i was laughing so hard that i could hardly walk. haha!

then we say bring disc man.. then hi fi set. hahhaa then the whole computer while jogging. hahahaha. walao. so nonsense can argh! haha!

eh fiona you owe me rounds also! cos you look at that short and fat boy! HAHAHA!!!!

2005-11-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

yay i finally have a free night!!! woohoos!!! i love weeknights *prances about happily* hahaha. my life is kinda revolving around band now. haha sianness. but nvm i quite like it..

thanks to glosz, my tone has improved a tremendous lot. yay!! *jumps about happily* hehe.

oh man a little hyper today man. hahaha band was fun.. then ending part i mean, when audrey, erjie and amanda were being mad. hahahaha. so funny. then in bus 14 i kinda molested weelyn. HAHAHAHA. wth man.. that's so funny. hahahahaha. argh so high!!! can die man. hahaha.

but i'm really damn happy that i'm free for once. yay. haha.

loving band heaps now. =))

2005-11-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

omg glosz is coming tml. stress stress stress man... oh man.. i got so much stuff to do. but i really don't see a point in doing any of it *mutters darkly* for reasons i shall no put in my blog. ask me online if you must. hm..

it's holidays man. i should be happy and relaxed!! but i'm not.. *sad face* i'm missing loads of people now.. haven't seen them in ages!!! hmm

aaaah stomach ache. paaain. *dies* haha. k i'm being abit wonky. must be lack of sleep. last night was on the phone til 2+. gosh i really haven't had enough sleep lately. tonight's gonna be quite bad again =(=(. so much stuff to do.. i swear, i've never been so busy. plus got SOME PEOPLE bugging me to play some stupid game *glares at fiona leng* hahahahaha. but nvm the stupid game is quite amusing. hahahaha. especially arguing. haha. hm siao.

i think band is quite fun now. hahaha. me and chandni are like forever quoting russell peters. like wth man. haha damn funny. can die sia. hahahahahaha. i wanna watch more of his stuff. hahaha..

omg some person is annoying me so terribly badly. argh. *wants to kill* nvm. i shall be nice and not say anymore. haha. i'm so sleeepy!!!!!!!!!! argh. and i've got no rest until next wed. ARGH. prepare for my death. lol.. alright then. shall go off now. need to sleep :P ciaos.

2005-11-20T20:01:00.000+08:00

I dunno what to blog abouts. hehes. hmhm. sigh just put band stuff la hor? second CCA board what, dui bu dui? haha..

Tuesday
Senior band - CANCELLED
Junior band - Fall in 2.30pm. Half uniform. Be late and DIE.

=)

2005-11-19T11:45:00.000+08:00

Last night I read a close friend's blog. and i realise that I haven't had time for my friends ever since NCO camp. I haven't been communicating much with the close friends i had before the NCO camp. I've made new friends, and I've failed to maintain old ones. I'm sorry.

to that close friend of mine, i think you know who you are. i read your blog entry from a few days ago.. and I'm sorry if you think i've been avoiding. I haven't. I admit, i did try to avoid you before and I told you why. but that day at adlin's house.. i found that you meant so much to me that I couldn't possibly throw our friendship away so easily. I still love you loads. and if i haven't been speaking to you much.. it's because I've been to busy. I swear I haven't been avoiding you. I miss those times 6 months ago too and I want to have more fun just like before. I don't know what you mean by spoiling my reputation and all that because there's no way you're doing so. I haven't been calling or smsing you much because I've been too busy and my phone bill is like bombed. I would love to tell you all that has been going on but not here. not now. Please give me time.

2005-11-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

gosh i'm so tired.. hmm. haha..

banded today.. i woke up early for once.. but still ended up late for band.. haha all that fiona leng's fault lor!! haha wth! but nvm.. then banded.. played all you need is love. lovely song. so fun. played fantasy on irish air too. was ok la.. but i was damn sleepy... was dropping off to sleep.. but had to shout "band girls keep quiet" every few minutes. dunno why they abit noisy today. hmm especially trumpet section la. haha.

after senior band prac got some stock check shit. nothing much on that.. then junior band prac. walao damn fucked la. fucking rosemary schedule CCAs at 2pm and A Math O levels begin at 2pm. she damn fucked up la. walao. so pissed at her.. so we cannot make noise until 4.15 and band ends at 5? had to move tables and chairs to 4/7 also.. stupid sch always picking on concert band. but nvm. we're nice =)) anw i just gave rouen (sp?) some instructions and went off home. cos i was annoyed. gave gen a call and told her what was going on..

went home and fell asleep.. haha... then was awakened by gen.. hm.. slacked abit more.. then went off for the mini NCO gathering. it was damn fun la. haha. yee siew and i were the only girls. so paisehing. but damn fun la.. stupid guys kept laughing at us. piigs. haha. it was damn bad when yee siew left early. walao then i was the only girl there la. haha but quite fun la. the guys all packing up and i didn't have to do a thing. hehehe. reached home at 11+.. supposed to reach home like 10 plus but my parents were asleep le. heng.. haha.

gosh i'm like damn tired now la.. better go sleep =)). nites

2005-11-14T08:35:00.000+08:00

oooh.. what a good way to start the morning!!! i in a super good mood now!!! woo!! hahaha!! ask me why ask me why! no nvm. don't ask me why. cos i won't tell you!!! hahaha!!!! gosh i'm so happy and high now.. *bounce bounce bounce*

still missing NCO camp like craaazzzzyyy!!!!!! this is like jie lin and fran's club med depression. but mine is NCO camp depression. hehe.. so horrible.. 5 days over just like that! *snaps fingers* sigh.. but there's always reunion!!!! *bounce bounce bounce* HAHA.

gosh it's too early to be so high! but i am!! haha!!! i have a stomachache!!! shit la. haha. hm. going sch later to collect my school books. hehe. i'm making a special trip to sch just to collect books can. haha see how serious i am about school work.. hehehehe. fuck i haven't started on my hw. *curse and swears* AH WELL. still many weeks ahead =))

almeric: haha!!! so mean! racist comment! i'm gonna tell him!!! :P:P
ernestine: haha. MAYBE. :P
weelyn: hahhaa yeah i did :P

2005-11-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

I don't really have inspiration to blog but i shall anyway. HAHA.

this week was the BEST WEEK for the holidays so far!! i love it man!! 31st NCO camp. Gosh i'm gonna miss all the people i made friends with.. especially the S'es. sigh!!! can't believe it's over!!! the memories are still so fresh in my mind. At least we have reunion in december!! yay!! haha.. I wanna go back for NCO camp can.. i do'nt mind all the early waking and shit anymore.. so fun can.. so crappy.. *stones for a while*

see i did say i do'nt have inspiration to blog right? haha. i don't even feel like going to other peoples' blogs. lol..

I WANNA GO BACK FOR NCO CAMP!!! =((

2005-11-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to rant about the school and a certain woman called rosemary. but i lost all inspiration. sigh.

I really miss band. I know I've said this about a million times but it's true.. I miss band during syf period so much. What siewcheng told me is really true.. Band now isn't the band we knew before. I wish there was something I could do about it but there isn't. It saddens me greatly but i suppose that's what happens with change of like everything. The people who were once so passionate about band before aren't passionate anymore. I think Sir, who brought magic to band, took most of the magic with him when he left. And the seniors took the rest with them when they left.

Almost made me cry last night when I thought of how different things are now.

Time passes so quickly. I can hardly believe I've been here for 6 months. It's quite laughable. 6 months and yet it feels like I just took over yesterday. And still, i wish it was all over. I'll miss band, no doubt about it, but not as much as i miss the band i knew before Sir left. I miss Sir so dearly.

I feel like I've let the band down, I've let the seniors down, I've let Sir down. I want Sir to come back and see that band more fantastic than before. But if he came back like now, and saw the state of the band, I'd run off and hide my face.

It's so weird. I care for the band, and yet I'm at a total loss as to what to do. I love band but I hate band. I want the seniors to come back so badly but I'm scared to. I want the magic back in band but I don't know where to get it.

I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough

you don't need a leader, you need a blind scapegoat. and i'm not willing to be that.

2005-11-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

oh i was reading my previous entry i can't believe i forgot to talk about pan ling ling!!!! haha!! cos we saw her at paragon basement. she has really pretty skin. but anyway. hahaha. jie lin and i decided to stalk her. HAHA. it was damn funny.. we followed her up the escalator and out of paragon then i saw something flutter down on to the floor from her hands. HAHAH. i thought she dropped can! then i ran up to it and it turned out to be a SWEET WRAPPER. WTH!! hahaha. she's a litterbug!!! wtmfh!! hahaha but it was still funny!! jie lin laughed like madness!

anyway. hahaha i feel like going shopping again!!! but ARGH i'm fully booked til next next week. mtfh. i think i got no time to shop until december caaan. argh.. stupid camp. i hate camps. hate hate hate hate hate. waste of my time. rah!

fran: hey i think i can make it on the 16th. that's a wed. =)) we can make it like 10 hour marathon then finish the other 10-11 hours on the night of our christmas party! =))
weelyn: it's that thing the drum major throws up in e air and pokes her eyeball out with.
gen: WALAO! WHAT 2ND CCA BOARD! GO AND DIE. hahahaha but since you need to know,

juniors, 8 nov, tues, half u, 1.30pm
seniors, 15 nov, tues, full u, 9.00am

2005-11-04T21:18:00.000+08:00

Gosh I'm so tired now.. haha. today was a fun day. oui! oui! funness!!

went to sch in the morning to get my mace.. abit sian dui bu dui? hahaha. but ain and i were playing percussion instruments.. hahaha shhhh don't tell anyone. HAHA. it was fun.. then we polished the mace and instrument. yup.. hahaha. then shared a cab with ain home. i'll look stupid on the bus with a mace right? right. i'm not so retarded can.

then went home.. watch love actually. got me into a christmassy mood. hahaha. nice nice!

went to orchard with fran, jill and jie lin. hehe. was fun man we just stayed around wisma, taka and paragon. OH MAN FORGOT TO GO NGEE ANN CITY. fran was supposed to show me where she bought those nice pants. rah. whatever. hm hm.. haha yay jie lin bought me my chritmas de.. haha just have to wait til our christmas party before receiving it. yeah man. haha. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. woohoo. my fav time of the year.

k anyway, at paragon there was the christmas display thing. sold lots of cool christmas stuff. i want the pillow and pillow case!!!! *pleads fran* hahahaha. i got a rough idea what to buy everyone le!! haha except a few.. but who cares. *hums tunelessly*

love christmas!!! wheeee. i wanna decorate my rooom!!! yeah man!!! hahaha. i'm not gonna let anything affect my happy christmas mood!! hahah. i even bought christmas clothes le!! i'm gonna diet until like new year. or not my clothes will BURST. haha.. i'm like always hungry. so annoying!! but i resisted the temptation to buy the brownie fr0m taka. hahaha. yay! christmas! woo!

gosh you know what? i miss the seniors.. faster end Os leh.. i miss the sec fours!! hm and SWENSONS.. gosssh. why Os so long!! quick end!! LOL.

2005-11-03T18:00:00.000+08:00

How does it feel..
When you keep giving people the impression you don't like them?

How does it feel..
When you suddenly find it hard to maintain the relationship you used to have with someone?

How does it feel..
When you try so hard to pull away from someone. only to miss her even more and wanna spend even more time with her?

How does it feel..
When you get jealous over nothing and end up hating everyone?

How does it feel..
When the person you love thinks you don't even like him?

How does it feel..
When you want so much to turn away from someone.. but you just can't?

How does it feel..
When the people you were so so close to just 6 months ago.. suddenly aren't that close anymore?

How does it feel..
When you want so much to give up.. but just plain can't?

How does it feel..
When you feel so much and you just wanna go to sleep and never wake up?

I know how it feels.

Because that's how i feel now.

2005-11-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

Argh!!!! Jillian got that LINE stuck in my HEAD. SO ANNOYING.. now i can't stop saying it. rah!!! and fran please don't go "i told you so". i'm pissed off enough at myself. hahahahahahaha.

banded today. hm. don't rmb much about it. OH YA my hp dropped. THREE TIMES CAN. omg. haha got the look from Mr De. effing hell sia. rah. after that.. erm erm erm. abit of frustration. aiyah lazy to type out what happened..

oh man we played "the legend of danny boy". stupid name right. but sounds abit like "you raise me up". haha. i was like humming it when Mr De was talking. hahaha. actually band was quite ok la. except for those looks that Mr De. kept giving me. hahahaha it was damn funny when i was making faces at Sherri and he was staring at me like i was a maniac la. haha. Ah wells.

I wanted to rant on a certain member of the staff in the CCA Office. but i'm nice. and sleepy. so I shall not bitch about her. But one more time she get on my nerves and i'm gonna bitch to no end. rah. oh and happy day. the BITCH in my section didn't come today. YAYNESS. should throw a party! ahaha

Oh instead of converting my blog to a second CCA board, (glares at gen) i think we should have a band blog!! wooooo!!! hehehehe!!! k la whatever.. hmmmmm anw i'm going to sleep now. woke up way too early today..

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving

gen: WALAO WHAT SECOND CCA BOARD. rah!!!!
ernestine: hahaha. aiyoy!! why you like him so much!! haha at least you appreciate all we've done for you =))
fran: wow. nightmare about me. thanks la!

2005-11-01T11:29:00.000+08:00

Ok yesterday was the 1st day of holidays. i think it was a good start so hopefully it means that the holidays will go well. hehe.

first, was awakened at an ugly hour to go to a wake but had macs breakfast first. so went for the wake all the way in hougang. then i got stomachache. can die sia. haha so we cabbed back to my house hahahaha just so that i could take a crap. lame right.. ya but nvm. 10 bucks gone like that. walao. k then we took bus to school for band. haha slackiest band practice in existence. but can't blame us because we were there on our own accord so we coud basically do whatever we wanted. no attendence marked what.

yup.. after that went home.. bathed.. then went to ernestine's party.. hehe. it was quite fun. then dinnered at fran's mum's restaurant. hoho. got a lift back home. yay. was abit high haha.. had a "so what you want me to do about it" conversation with jillian in the car. hehehe. i really shouldn't say that phrase too often. lol.

anw yesterday was fun la. yay yay. haha! oh and we were singing abba songs. now i'm kinda addicted to abba. lol lol. especially since we played abba gold during band too. speaking of band, some weird creatures thought there was band today and went to school. for goodness sake! it's a PUBLIC HOLIDAY. sheesh. for any other weird creature, next band practice for seniors is
wednesday (tomorrow), fall in 9am, wear half u.
juniors, tuesday, 8 nov, fall in 1.30 pm, wear half u.

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend,
I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

fran: haha you just gave yourself away la. you WERE telling jokes. admit it. i could hear.
gen: haha!!! we did speak the second time round hor!!
fiona: walao! i got wake up lor! haha. wake me up tml too!!
rebecca: hahaha okie.. cyerr..

2005-10-30T20:10:00.000+08:00

I think I'm abit wonky nowadays. MUST BE BAND. hahaha. but i have really wonky lately, hope I switch back to normal again. quite saddening. i was just getting used to normality when CCA had to begin. rah.

Yesterday I went to jill's house. hahahaha. it was so lame la. all squeezed onto her bed and attempted to sleep. hahaha jill and fran do not comprehend the meaning of SLEEP. down there whispering lame jokes to each other. hahahaha.

*hums tunelessly* i'm bored bored bored!! typing nonsense. haha

jie lin got me all into sims 2 again. i'm gonna buy sims 2 university!!!!! yeah yeah!! hahaha!!

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sleep
I don't even talk to people I mean
And I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
But you must know what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

2005-10-29T10:49:00.000+08:00

Lol 6 torturous days of not coming onto the computer. sadness. But now I'm back woohoohoo.

Yesterday was the last day of school. Report books were given out. Well, except mine. I was being rather vulgar about it but lets not go there. lol. No one is to be retained in my class. That's very coolness. *smirks* ok only 3/6 people know what the smirk is for so yeah. HAHA.

Sec twos got their streaming results. Just wanna say congrats to you guys who got to the classes you desire. yup. I'm really proud of you guys!! haha 3/6 rocks!! 8 pple from band got into 3/6 YEAH MAN. hahahaha.

I'm lazy to reply comments today. I have a bad tummyache.. =(=(

Lost traditions
I want them back
But they never will
And that's a fact

It's sad to see
What I once so loved
Crumble to pieces
When I took o'er

My passion for it
Was what brought me here.
But I've lost it all
What am I still doing here?

This isn't the same thing
I fell in love with.
Everything's changed
I can't accept it

Sadness overwhelms me
When I see the state of it
I don't know what to do.
I can't control my feelings.
I need a break.
That one month wasn't enough
I need a more permanent one
Can't wait for graduation.

2005-10-23T17:28:00.000+08:00

Ok i couldn't stand the state of my comment box anymore so I'm here to blog. again. wahahaha. *glares at eunice and fiona*

but anyway. I'm in a rather confused state now. so many things to say. but once again i'm unable to express myself. sadness.

fallen in love with the song "because of you" by kelly clarkson. love love love it heaps. i think the next few entries will have extracts of the song hehe. like that time when I had that short infatuation with the song "masquerade" hoho.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

2005-10-23T11:32:00.000+08:00

[edit] I'm fasting off the computer for a week. so no blogging. [/edit]

yesterday was quite nice. heees. went to Adlin's place with eunice.. we just kinda sat down and chatted for about 5 hours plus? so nice. didn't feel like going off.. haha.. we laughed alot.. reminisced alot. hmm.

it's amazing how fast time flies. only 5 more days of school. in 2005, we have endured 10 months and 4 weeks of school life, 4 months and 13 days of joyful band life (syf period), 5 months plus of stressful band life and so much more.

This year has been totally memorable for me. Sec 4s told me to enjoy my sec 3 life at the beginning of the year. they said it would be the most enjoyable and memorable. I scoff at the enjoyable part. but memorable, I most definitely agree.

I made new friends, broke up with old. Got close to people i never even expected myself to even associated myself with. Realised how important friends are in ones life. Understood the stress of student leaders.

Indeed alot has happened this year. And I'm keeping these memories with me forever. When school closes, many things are gonna change. If I do drift from friends, I'm not going to regret it. I'm just holding on to the memories I have and I'm never letting go. Maybe I won't be able to make create new memories with these friends but I'm just going to appreciate what I have of them.

People always ask "Would you rather love and be hurt, or never loved at all". My answer will always be the former. Memories are enough for me.

2005-10-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

Oh today was uber fun!! haha! First, mother tongue drills. HAHA. I kinda dropped to band 4. talk about patheticness. But I passed my chinese EOYs! yayness!! woohoo! hahaha. Ya but anyway

Next was rock climbing. hahahahha. DAMN FUN. at first i didn't wanna go cos well, just take it as i was physically unwell. (yeah right) hahaha. but in the end i did do abit of rock climbing and it was so fun la. hahahah. must be the screaming part. i just LOVE to scream. haha. i scraped my elbow. like ouchness. but i didn't even know something happened to it until someone asked me what happened to it. hahahaha. but rock climbing was fun la.. hahaha lets go again during e hols!! whoopies! heh.

We returned to school rather early. then i took a cab home with fiona to get my mouthpiece. damn stupid la I. forgot the file also. dumbness. haha. but was on time for fall in thank goodness. so ya. band was ok.. the beginning part was abit boring. technicals. SIANNESS. haha. but after that we played virginia! SO FUN!!! i love it!!! ooh i missed my instrument so terribly badly!!! hahaha.

tomorrow it's gonna be OUT OUT OUT the WHOLE DAY!!! wheeeeness! hahahahaha.

=)

fran: lol lol yes it might have been you and annurshah. hahaha. might have.
sc: hahahahaha. i can steal it back if you like =) my hp i mean.
xiaomei: OH MAN IT'S CHINESE WTH. haha but nice la =)=)
tiffany: hahaha. wow rare visitor wheeeee!!! honey prawns? okie! hahaha

2005-10-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

Oh i'm blogging twice in a day HAHAHA. lameness. hehe. k ANYWAY. my legs are dead. hahaha. went rollarblading on tuesday and fell quite embarrassingly ~~a few~~ alot of times. hahaha. Nicole and Su have pictures of me looking like an idiot on the floor. ARGH. hahaha. hm anw from tuesday my legs have been dying.

then yesterday we had a meeting with Miss Chua. HAHA. damn funny. cos my socks were like coloured and in music room must take out shoes. haha so i kinda ran in and quickly sat down then annurshah, fran and jill just threw their bags on my feet to cover the socks. hahahaha. damn funny. then we kinda got bored listening to miss chua so we were down there imitating vanessa's impeccable posture. her back is DAMN straight la. haha.

Then went home and at night went for dinner with nicholas, jill and fran. gosh the dinner was really filling. then we walked around. hahahaha. We were abit high during the walk. hahaha. walked from tanjong pagar to outram mrt and back. hehehehe. i needed to pee like the whole way. hahaha. damn uncomfortable la. plus i was laughing at the stupidest things so my pee was even more you know.. haha. ya but that's why my legs are aching even more la. not the pee, the walk. hahaha.

i sound like such a delinquent, adding "hahaha" and "hehehe" after every sentence. hehehe. SEE. hahahaha. ok shit i gotta stop doing that. haha. *insert eye roll*

So anyway ya. today went to fran's house. hahaha. then had to go tampines to buy stuff. haix more walking. so ya my legs ache even more. hahaha omg i'm getting abit high on nothing again. hahaha. i should stop laughing. HAHA

gen: WAHLAO WHAT SECOND CCA BOARD. GO AND DIE. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

(see i'm laughinga gain. HAHA)

2005-10-20T13:08:00.000+08:00

Band commences tomorrow. Oh joy oh joy. note the wry and sarcastic tone. Just to let band girls know, Sec 1s - 4Na fall in 2.15pm. Sec Twos having CIP MUST still come for band and had better be there by 5 or you will suffer my unending wrath. muahaha. *insert eye roll here*

Obviously I'm in a very -.- mood today. I think it's cos of last night. I have a HORRIBLE SPLITTING headache now. Ouchness. Going off to Fran's house later i suppose. Need to take a crap first though lol.

I need to organize the band chalet *twitches in agony* yes just the thought of organizing it makes me twitch. Not that I don't want to but it's very taxing for my miniscule brain. Especially after the exams shrank it abit more. So ya.

It's so cold. Well I suppose cold is better than hot. Argh. I feel like just crawling to bed and wrapping myself with layers and layers of blanket. hoho.

Ok I'm going off now cos my head is killing me. *groans*

amandie: yes dear it is. HAHA.
sc: CALCULATOR. RAH. =)
fran: gosh my head REALLY hurts. ouchness.

2005-10-17T14:48:00.000+08:00

gosh i'm not a happy girl today. haha. we had e math paper 2 and it was like so difficult!!!! rah! so pissifying. i'm sure to do badly this round. sadness.. but nvm i have a plan as to what to do if my report book turns out horrifyingly bad. lol lol.

tml is the last day of torture. MT listening and Geog Paper 1. Thought I could slack today but NOOOOO that MISS LIM told us to hand in our CAJ tml. wth. i'm short of about twenty articles? I'm so dead.

oh and plus. the news that we will be having 2 hours of chi every day til e end of term. not that it's terribly bad cos we don't really do much in chi classes. hahahaha. but still the thought of CHINESE. bleargh!

Hmph. Oh man I have loads of stuff to settle *curse and swears* rah rah rah!

RAH

beefy: haha yup. i shall look on e bright side =pp thx. =)
su: aw a rainbow? haha i'm touched!! =)
fiona: erm you're here? that's bad. HAHA.
tine: haha!!! go see him another time la!!!
fran: argh. change. argh.
weelyn: haha i love the song too =))

2005-10-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

2005-10-15T11:11:00.000+08:00

I realise something about myself that I never knew before. I'm very unable to accept change.

Like when i'm close to someone for a period of time.. and then after that that someone drifts away and gets close to someone else, I am unable to accept it. In the past I used to do all i could to get that someone back but now I just wallow in my own misery and do nothing about it but whine and cry. Either way I don't move on until a million years later. My life goes to a standstill and revolves around that one problem. Then other problems set in and don't go away so everything accumulates and accumulates til I breakdown and unwillingly half accept the change and move on. And then it starts again Vicious cycle.

Same goes for the way band is run. I try to follow traditions. I try to meet up to expectations. But I never go beyond. Things never really improve. Like if the progress of band was drawn on a graph it would be a horizontal line. I don't really think that's a good thing.

Like when mr de came, i hated him. Cos it was a major change. Everything was different. And I hated it.

I suppose I just hate change. It has to do with my stubbornness or summat. Maybe that's a part of me that needs to be changed. I don't know. Is it?

Six days to the start of band..
Six days to the continuation of my worries..
Six days to the opening of my masquerade

2005-10-14T17:25:00.000+08:00

I miss band

I miss my instrument

I miss Sir

I miss.. nvm.

lol wasn't that a nice introduction. but i miss band. i was humming virginia just the other day. wtf. haha.

Anw now I'm uber pissed. I wanna go for dinner. but i'm not allowed. *lets out a VERY VERY long and ~~viscous~~vicious string of curses* SHIT i have GEOGRAPHY in my brain. viscous. wth.

I hate exams. Hate hate hate. confirm die le. sigh. Band begins in exactly a week. My worries are coming back. I feel the pressure again. rah

I WANNA GO FOR DINNER.

fran: lol i knew you were sleeping. knew it. haha
sc: lol i haven't saved a cent yet. hahaha. :P i promise not to go out during the hols to save up =))
weelyn: haha. i don't really care if pple read also la =P
steph: neither am i!!! :(:(:( hate geog hate geog hate geog
su: omg i'm really sorry. i really forgot!! =(
fiona: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! =))

2005-10-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

This isn't really for anyone to read. so shoo.

I stand here
My soul laid bare
Secrets spilled out
I no longer care.

A vase that's broken
Can be glued back
But infinite cracks
It will never again lack.

Likewise the pain in one's heart
Will never go away
Like infinite cracks
The hurt will always stay.

Even with apologies
And grovelling at my feet
I will never forgive you
Forgiveness is a huge feat

The first time that slap hit me
My heart turned to ice.
The second slap that crushed me
Did the same to my heart.

The third striked numbness
I no longer felt the pain
The fourth evoked hatred
It will never go away

That was just the beginning
The tension only climbed
If that wasn't the climax
I'd hate to reach that point.

2005-10-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

Omg. I'm so going to retain. no question. Well I comfort myself by saying i get to take pure bio. whoop dee doo. but the humiliation of studying with my juniors. i mean no offence to current sec twos but it IS humiliating. Plus I don't even get to graduate next year with my good friends. how suckiness. but i shall be positive. yes i shall *chants* retaining isn't that bad.. retaining isn't that bad.

fuck who am i kidding..

haha.

I'm worried sick about my mum.. please Lord, let her get well soon.. I'm worried for my academics, Lord give me the willpower and strength to go on studying.. I'm worried for my friends.. Lord bless them with happiness..

2005-10-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow the SERIOUS papers begin. *lets out string of curses* I'm so not prepared please. wth. I think these exams are like the most important in my life so far. last year was streaming but i scraped through. this year is definitely not possible to even pass a single thing without studying. I've never been so nervous about exams before. period. and now with so much stuff going on outside of academics. i don't know how i'm going to concentrate on anything. all i can do now, i suppose, is to focus on studying as much as my short attention span can take and try to push all else away. hoho.

Right now I'm praying really hard for everyone to concentrate on their exams. Everyone, and i mean everyone, has more problems during this exam period. talk about fucked up la. hahaha. but just rmb guys, no girl/guy/creature is worth failing exams for. Honestly, no one's bad enough that she fails even after studying right? right. hahaha.

I'm ridding my site of the tagboard ~~tomorrow~~ now. it's more of a hindrance than anything else. people, USE MY COMMENT BOX. thanks yous.

fran: I do not have secret fantasies of you.
haha if you keep insisting i do, I will
reveal your DEEP DARK SECRET. =P
weelyn: NO. HAHA COS I'M MEAN. NOW
GO AND DO.
sc: walao! haha. whatever la. DASIWORNEH
eunice: don't be upset by Ac. haha she's just
too free. haha. smiles =)
fiona: i delete le la!!! wa lao! noisiness! haha!
poh: YES I WILL MAKE YOU DO IT. watch
out tml!!

2005-10-07T21:35:00.000+08:00

Jill and Fran chose me to do the stupid 5 quirks thing. and I have no idea what I'm going to pick so this shall be totally impromptu and like all my other entries, make absolutely no sense

[1] I absolutely abhor being told what to do.
Yes. That is such a teenage angsty thing to say but its true. If possible, i hate it more than anyone else does. I don't care if you're an adult or my leader or someone superior. If I don't think you deserve my respect, I'm not gonna listen to whatever you say, no matter what.

[2] I am clueless as to why people believe that by sharing their problems, they are burdening others.
Seriously, friends are there to be there for EACH OTHER. No matter what relationship there is, friendship or BGR or GGR or BBR (?), it is TWO WAYS. so please don't give me stuff like "oh i don't wanna burden you with my problems" honestly, i get more worried when people are clearly disturbed and I'm totally helpless. It hurts more to be helpless and ignorant than to be aware and "burdened".

[3] I am incredibly emotional
I'm not sure if many people know this, but I seem to get emotional real easily. I get touched and hurt and all the jazz alot. just that i don't show it all.

[4] I find having people think me crooked very amusing
Need I elaborate? =p=p

[5] My lifelong dream is to work for disney or SIA.
HAHA isn't that the weirdest.

OK I'M DONE. that was lame. haha but amusing. hahaha k whatever. The people I want to do this five quirks thing are SIEWCHENG, WEELYN and POH HOON. wahaha. especially dasiworneh. WAHAHA.

2005-10-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

Oh my poor self.... I have been banned off the computer and phone... My social life has been reduced to nothingness... I am DOOMED to loneliness FOR ALL ETERNITY. DOOMED I TELL YOU! DOOMED!!

sigh. farewell my dear blog-readers but MISS ME NOT. for i shall still be seen in school. Sigh sigh. sob sob.

oh whatever, that was abit melodramatic no? haha. anw i have been banned because of my progress card. sadness. but nvm. only 3 weeks more before i can blog again and use msn. unless i sneak of to a friend's house and use their com :P (like now) hoho.

and btw i'm expected to go home straight after sch no matter what too. damn my life sucks. rah. haha.

had eng and chi papers today and yesterday. eng was ok. chi compo was like the shortest i'd ever written. paper two involved THINKING. wtmfh. but nvm la. fail then fail. hahaha. i shall mug like fuck from now on. ho ho ho.

2005-10-02T19:41:00.000+08:00

omg i'm uber annoyed. stupid msn isn't working!!! #$%$@$^*$%@#$@!!!!! wah lao... stupid msn.. ok nvm *breathes* haha..

anw today was like so boring. spent the whole day at home. hahaha. k not really i went to eastpoint like twice. but eastpoint is like so near la. so yeah.

and thanks for your comments guys. i'll like reply everyone in my entries. it's easier lols.

i'm freaking nervous now.. i'm going to let my dad sign my progress card tonight. yikes!!! this is gonna be bad. hahaha. must pray for me hor! haha. i'm so damn scared now can... argh...

in addition, eoy officially begins TML. fuck. but it's just compo so nvm. BUT i don't know the format for formal writing. fuck fuck fuck. ok i'm getting nervous. i need chocolate!

fiona: not corner than what!!! right smack in the center?? hahaha!
weelyn: haha thanks. you have a nice blogskin too =)
kt: haha i very guai wan hor!!! don't sms during mass de =p=p HAHA.
amandie: haha of course the comment box is better! i thought of it what! haha!
sc: dasiworneh, don't noisy la! hahaha USE MY COMMENT BOX LA complain so much. =p
eunice: erm erm erm cool and fun? you're WEIRD. hahaha
gen: haha erm.. blah! to you too. hahaha.

2005-10-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

[edit] I've just added my archives and changed stuff so that only on entry appears. if you get what i mean. but i do'nt really get what i myself mean so i don't blame you if you don't either. haha. wth am i saying? whatever. lols.

and i've just been cheated. my "cheese crackers" have no cheese. asshole manufacturer [/edit]

hahaha it is moulting time! everyone is changing their skins HAHA. oh man i'm so lame. HAHAHA. anw my puny tagboard space was pissing me off so now i have a COMMENT BOX. just click on the italic word "white" or "grayscale - ?" yeah. hahaha. fun-ness

i don't know what to blog about. it's like after my hiatus I have lost the ability to blog adequately. hahaha. diao.

oh man exams starting on monday. like wth? i've hardly studied la. scared retain. sighs.. maybe i should study seriously. ok not maybe, i definitely. lols. i studied abit today.. haha. like WOWNESS. but not alot. haha.

went for holy trin youth mass. could feel a little of God's presence. but only like a bit for the beginning part.. after that... it was like nothing. sian. haha. olps more fun can. hahaha. gosh i'm damn hungry now. shall have a midnight snack before going to bed. yeah. haha. anw i think the mass was disappointing. it was so confusing and disorganized. haha lets pray no holy trin people come here. olps still better. plus olps we have lots of space to walk around when we get bored. holy trin.. nothing. sian la. hahaha

see what i mean by i'm losing my ability to blog adequately? i do'nt even know what im' typing. haha all rubbish. whatever

note: please leave a comment. hehe. unless you are like siewcheng and think it's fun to scroll from left to right for my tagboard. lols.

2005-09-30T18:24:00.000+08:00

It seems that everyone has problems now. And it just HAS to be during this exam period that everyone gets sad and distracted. How ironic. The past few days have been CRAP for me. But today was FUN. hahaha. Laughed alot. hoho. yay yay.

this is a very crappy entry cos my dad just came home and i'm in a state of panic. hahaha. So to make up for the rubbish, I shall dedicate a song to all my friends. *smiles*

GOD THAT WAS SO BIMBO.

I'll Be There For You

So, no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,
or even your year.
But....

CHORUS:
I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there for me too

You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight.
You've burned your breakfast, so far, things are going great.
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these.
But she didn't tell you when the world
has brought you down to your knees,
that,

CHORUS:
I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there for me too

2005-09-28T19:42:00.000+08:00

haha i think YFC peeps will get this. Or those who receive YFC yahoo messages. Loves loves peeps!

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY."

Praise God! Woots!

2005-09-21T19:53:00.000+08:00

Ok this is damn horrible of me cos i'm not supposed to be blogging la. but i feel the need to blog. haha. so here i am.

today miss chua showed the sec threes pics of the events in 2005. and there was ~~this pic~~ these pics of band. with Sir. When the first pic of Sir came out I was like "SIR!" and suddenly all the memories came flooding back. And for the first time since he left, I really really really miss him like mad. There was a pic with him in the midst of conducting. His usual enthusiastic way of conducting. haha. full of energy and life. I really miss all that. The way he always told us funny stories that happened to him last time.. The way he would laugh with us when we attempted a new piece and did terribly badly. The way he never blamed us for playing badly or anything.. I miss it all..

There were pics of SYF. my gosh. SYF. I stil remember the date. 13th April 2005. Memories so gorgeous, no words can descirbe them. The practices we had from Nov/Dec 2004 til 13th April. They were so super fun.

Syf Camp. I remember.. When we had to make the decision as to who to go for SYF... How the camp ended with everyone in tears... How close I was to Dee then... The Practices from Syf camp to syf itself. intensive training. Everyone stressed over Syf. wishing that we had practiced harder when we had time. But the bond with our seniors pulled us so close. We never gave up. We never gave up. Every practice was enjoyable. I looked forward to going for CCA then. I could trully say "Band Rocks" and mean it.

13th April 2005. My hands cold with nerves. Warm ups in the music room. People rushing for make up. Half the band didn't even put on make up. no one cared much. My hair pulled all the way back. Looked like some toot. haha. Everyone rushing around for last minute hair ribbons, black hair clips, eye make up etc.

In the bus, trombone section at the back making lots of noise and laughing. I was just sick with nerves. Prayed the whole bus ride.

Then the waiting. we waited and queued and waited for our turn. Blood on the floor. no one needs to remember about that :P. Chiobus from clarinet section of bedok something sec. haha. tuning room. emptied water from instruments on carpetted floor. haha. sh. nerves accumulating even more. then more waiting outside the hall. hugging all over. trying to laugh off nerves. I bet no one even knew my legs were like jelly. strong fronts. but jelly inside.

Entering the hall. one huge mess. finally sat down with my instrument. lights everywhere. everywhere. where were the judges? sweat forming on my brow. concentrated on sir. nothing else. Singapore Rhapsody. First note. out of tune. We went on. I hit every note. Elation.

Panther Fire. Soli. wasn't too good. But it was over. It was over. Everyone so happy. confident of getting a gold. Even hoped for gold with honours. Everyone was hopeful. Perhaps too much.

Results. we were band number 72. they started with 60. my gosh. imagine the wait. on my left, diyanah. on my right, sherri. held sherri's hands as tight as i could. i was so nervous. Cute guy from ASCI in front. haha. can't ever forget that :P. Band number 72. Saint Anthony's Canossian Secondary School. Silver. Stunned silence. an "Oh My Gosh". Tears just came. they wouldn't stop.

Results finally over. Collected instruments and stuff. bus ride home. Sat with sherri the whole way. Sobs and tears. Sniffs and cries. Sir's heartbroken eyes. Trying to tell us it was ok. but it wasn't. I knew it. He knew it. We all knew it. He was keeping his tears in. I was sitting closest to him. Perhaps only I saw the tear glistening in his eye. I saw the pain in his eyes as he watched Sherri's shoulders tremble with sadness. I saw the way he finally sat down when he didn't know what else to say to cheer us up.

Back in the music room. Miss Chua said some crap. no one was listening. Everyone heartbroken. everyone was just crying. we had let Sir down. We had let Sir down.

I'll never forget how we let Sir down. I'll never forget the pain in his eyes. I'll never forget the memories of the countless band practices. I'll never forget the seniors and how they made band practices so perfect. I'll never forget how Sir made band practices MORE than perfect.

I'll never forget.

2005-09-13T16:37:00.000+08:00

Hey dudes. This is gonna be my last entry til the EOYs are over. I'm cutting myself off the internet from now on. Sigh. Internet gone. Handphone gone. I might as well jsut cut myself away from the face of the Earth. Still. Despite my social life being reduced to nothingness, I will survive. hahaha talk about melodramatic. (Oh btw i just learnt a new word. dra-fucking-ma) Hehe. go figure.

So yup. this is it sweethearts.. I'm going to mug like fuck from now on. Ciaos! Until the 18th of October!! Bye!

2005-09-11T15:21:00.000+08:00

Oh I'm so full!!!!!! Had buffet at CSC just now. the food sucked. but I'm still so full!!! argh. haha. i'm gonna have to roll to school tomorrow! hahahaha. don't mix me up with Lopez. I'm fairer. haha. K not funny. lols.

Argh school starts tomorrow!! i've only done eng compre so far. like shit la. oh no. history and ss notes. argh. what the effing hell please. rah!!! i don't wanna go school le!!!

I have an announcement to make.

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Natalie Koh has lost interest in blogging. oh no... haha. Which means.. I might put this blog on hiatus. Or in the worst case scenerio, CLOSE IT. Hm.. should I? I don't know. I'm rather attached to my blog. hehehe. See how.

I need to organize my time a little better. Sleep more. Study more. Yes. So that means less time on the computer hehe. I really spend too much time on the com. hehs.

k i'm rambling. I don't know wth I'm talking about. hahaha. Shall try to struggle through some hw. hehs. ciaos.

2005-09-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

Everyone's always searching for themselves. Trying to discover who they truly are, searching for their inner selves to come out. I'm doing just that. And I'm confusing myself. I'm scared. What if my inner self turns out to be really selfish, self-centered and all thats bad. I wanna know who I really am and yet I'm afraid. I sound like a stupid, immatured adolescent (which i really am) but that's how I feel. My self-esteem is close to zero now. I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be so happy, so carefree. Now I'm this moodswinging freak who can't concentrate on anything for more than 3 seconds. I'm sick of these tears welling up only to force them back in. I'm sick of people asking me why I'm so grumpy when i myself don't know why. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and asking "Who the hell is that?".

My life's a blank. A huge, ugly blank. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what's going on. I need to organise that ugly blank. I need to see colours again. I want to see bright colours. Enough of dull ones. I don't like dull colours anymore.

My heart aches all the time now. It aches and I want the ache to go away. go away. go away. Seeing her again today made it ache more. more. more. At one point it felt so constricted I could hardly breathe. I don't wanna see her anymore. I don't wanna talk to her anymore!! I just wanna die!!!! I moodswing so much now.. I feel so bad.. Everyone has to put up with my moodswings. I'm so sad!!! Maybe my heart will just freeze. please please please let that happen. Maybe the Lord will take pity on me and bring me home to Him. Now. argh!!! Maybe I'll go to sleep and never wake up. Then I'll become an angel and watch over everyone and make sure they're happy. I think I'll be happier that way.

Oh no school's starting soon. =( i don't want please!!!

I don't wanna go for band anymore. can you say stressful? I don't wanna see that Chua Bee Leng's face anymore. Do you think her teeth disease is contagious? argh I'm so mean. but what ever. I'm so frustrated. Band is going down the drain. Cos I'm such a fucked up pres. I need a break. Thank God for CCA breaks. =(=( but i'll miss my instrument. =(=( I really wish to die. now.
[continuation]
Since the 3rd of June nothing was ever the same again. I really just wanna die. I don't think I've ever wanted my life to end so much before. I can't take all this pain. I am weak. I admit, but I can't take it anymore. I need a break. but everything is just piling and it keeps piling. Feel like going to the highest building and just screaming FUCK. gosh I'm so immatured. I can't take this shit anymore. I'm gonna burst. burst. burst. enough. enough. enough. I've had enough of this masquerade. I just wanna unmask you. And I want you to unmask me. My heart is dying. This isn't the me I knew.

Lord I really need help.

2005-09-08T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm not high anymore =( and to be annoying again. i shall not say why. har har.

Fallen in love with this song "smile" by Rod Steward. was sung by Natalie Cole too. very very nice.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear maybe ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile- what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you just smile
Oh that's the time you must keep on trying

Smile what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you just smile

I look forward to the day i actually believe it. har de har.

2005-09-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

Oh man i feel damn fat please. i shall DIET YES I SHALL. haha. no more chocolates or ice cream or delicious pastries for me. *cries* haha. *chants obsessively* diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet diet

hoho.

i'm really happy about something. teehee. *giggles madly* i shall not say what. hahaha isn't it annoying? hahahahaha. i'm happy i don't think i've giggled so much since. well, since. hahaha. gosh. happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy. =D

today i wasted 5 and a half hours. hoho. rah. haha. boo. HAHA. shit i'm going mad.

argh i'm so fat.

hahaha.

hehehe.

*bursts into hysterical laughter*

hahaha i'm mad.

2005-09-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

i am confused

confused am i

i make no sense

no sense makes i

haha k that was nonsensical. i just spent the first day of the holidays AT HOME. yayness. haha but it's out out out out out everyday from tml til sat. woohoos. have i done my homework? erm.... haha! have i studied? erm.... haha! i'm so guai right? haha! k i've been abit crappy since yesterday. i think i'm suffering from lack of sleep. cos SOMEONE didn't let me sleep til one last night. *ahem* and she's disturbing me now again. sigh.. haha.. but i'm nice. so i'm humouring her. see what juniors do for their seniors? they humour them til wee hours of the morning. HAHA.

I feel sleepy. why? i just woke up twelve hours ago. and did virtually NOTHING the whole day. so why am i sleepy? hm. OH RIGHT. cos i'm slept at one last night cos of SOMEONE. you know what? i'm not making much sense. haha! my most nonsensical entry for this blog. YAYNESS. hahahaha!

i shall recount my day. i woke up at twelve. placed my bum on the seat in front of the com for about 5 hours with small breaks for food and the toilet. then i graciously let my younger sis use the com while i placed my bum on the sofa for 2 hours. then my bum went to the seat in front of the com for another hour. next, my bum settled nicely into my bed while i spoke on the phone with 3 other nonsensical people. i went to watch tv, and now my bum is back here in front of the com. HAHA. how eventful my day was. this should the blog of nat koh's BUM . hahaha. my bum had a more interesting day than me.

lol. see i TOLD YOU this entry was nonsensical. ho hum. sigh.. i shall go humour that SOMEONE again. goodbye =))

2005-09-04T20:51:00.000+08:00

YAY YAY YAY!!!!!! SACCB'S TRIP TO HAWAII IS ALMOST CONFIRMED!!!!! ALL WE GOTTA DO NOW IS IMPROVE ATTENDENCE AND BAND SOUND! YES!!!!!!! YES, BAND WE CAN DO IT! WORK REAL HARD K GUYS?

HAWAII HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

I feel like a change of layout again. Hoho. I'm in a mood for something simple. But I'm lazy. hehe. It's time for a proper blog in place of my usual "recount of the day". so here goes. those uninterested may go knock your heads on the computer screen to switch it off or just close this window. ho hum.

Blogging. What is it all about? Typing all of your feelings onto the net? Making it a personal diary for your friends to read? Unrestricted? Unlimited? No way. Sure we blog to vent our feelings on something. To express our feelings into words. But can words truly bring out how we feel? Can this digital screen portray our inner thoughts, those that are totally impossible to express into words? Do we really blog as a real diary? Or are we just typing stuff out in hope of finding someone who understands? In hope of sieving out true friends from false.

I'm not talking about those little fig holes who drone on and on about their little infatuations that no one gives two hoots about to show how cool they are. I'm talking about people like me who try to type out what they're feeling until they reach a point where you can't say anymore. Where no words are worthy of our thoughts.

Even then. the net restricts us. our blogs. open to the world. literally. anyone who knows this URL may read everything. And humans, being humans judge. And we, being humans as well, get self-conscious. So whatever is on our blogs isn't really everything. So even though a blog is for everything we think, we don't put everything down. Restriction by human nature. Restriction by feelings beyond words.

When have I ever felt better after a good blog? When has my blog ever comforted me when I was upset? Honestly, never. So why do I still blog?Hm.

2005-09-01T20:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN!! haha!

today is teacher's day!! whoos!! haha. i'm whooing cos no school! haha. went to study at airport with adlin, eunice and xiaomei. haha. i actually STUDIED CAN. how guai I am! For geography cos tml got geog test. horrifying please! haha. oh man adlin was damn funny today la! laughed lots lots. haha!

gosh there's school tomorrow! what the argh! so pointless! they should just cancel school totally! just end the term la! wth. i hope there's mass then can miss ALOT ALOT of lessons! yeah! haha shit i have alot of homework can! history webquest. RAH. E math hw. RAH. A math hw. RAH. mr tan is gonna throw me to RTC soon. RAH. k i'm like so dead la. tomorrow's gonna be a REALLY BAD DAY. i can feel it. RAH. at least there's no band. RAH. haha. ok i really should stop going "RAH" haha. RAH. gosh i'm feeling nervous about tomorrow. how weird. haha! i hate having bad feelings. cos my feelings usually come true. RAH. RAH. RAH. argh i'm going insane.

jean: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
sc: get well soon! heard you got flu!
erjie: i'm still praying hard for you =))

2005-08-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

[edit] just read ernestine's blog. Lord Bless her father and her family.

It's kinda scary cos around 5pm today in the airport i suddenly had a really bad feeling. like someone i was close to was hurt. gosh. this is scary. [/edit]

today's day was quite fun! haha. today's day? erm. ok whatever la. do'nt mind my rubbish. haha. had half day cos of teachers day. was quite nice la. (i'm saying that cos fran might kill me if i don't) HAHA. anyway. err what ah. oh yeah! went to city link with su and swee after that.. then left them to cut hair with Huifang. there's not much diff in my hair except that it's like shorter la. but the hair style almost sama. the fringe sucks though. i scared i look bung and when i asked hf she stared STRAIGHT at my erm.. chest and said "no la!" WTH. ok nvm. at least she acknowledges that I have a teeny bit of something. HAHA. walao i'm lame. k whateverness. erm.. then went to swee's house cos she had to pack. so went on the com for a while then chat chat chat online abit. then went to AIRPORT. yes. met Terry and Kevin. But didn't even talk to them. haha. we were going airport cos swee was leaving for aus :(:(:( wil miss her loads loads! ya anw we were being abit childish in the airport. but it was damn fun la! haha! was abit high! hahaha. lalala.

fran: sorry i made you depressed over the politics =((
swee: he isn't hot. no he isn't haha. but i'll miss you loads!!! =))
su: haha had loads of fun with you! love love! <33
sc: haha! your chocolate melt until so jiak lat. haha! nvm i buy you another one =P

orals

2005-08-30T19:43:00.000+08:00

Had chi orals yesterday. walao the guy damn annoying. so slow! argh. then give me wrong passage. waste even more time. so pissifying can. anyway during the loooong wait for our turn, me, fran, jielin, jill, jeanette and elisabeth frippiat were sitting together reminiscing about primary school days. hahaha. it was damn funny can. sigh.. how i long for those days again. sadness. ah wells.

no band for the whole of this week! I miss my instrument!!! i wonder if anyone will pei me on friday to practise for a while. haha. or if the school will even allow. hmph. i see how ba. Tomorrow I'm going to cut my hair!! yay! can't wait! haha! i kinda miss my long hair. should i grow again? hm. haha i'm like having a soliloquy.

ANYWAY. i'm going to be a good girl and stay home on thursday. yeah! haha. see i'm so guai!!! haha. oh man. madness. i'm praising myself. lalala. nothing to say le. sian. haha k i shall go and stone. haha! goodbye.

new layout

2005-08-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

new layout! woos! haha! spend the morning searching for a nice one. hmph. today i'm gonna be home like the whole day. doing work. whoa. can you believe it? me. doing work. hehs. mostly geog. cos Miss Adeline Lim doesn't believe in not giving homework. wth la. she's annoying me. seriously. i didn't bring my worksheet on like friday and it's my third time la. and she refuses to accept my plan. wth! and she's so freaking rude can. talk to me must walk here walk there de. wth. when someone keeps moving, one would automatically assume she's busy and just wait right? so that's what i do la. then she keep pressing me for answer. wth. at least be more courteous and look me in the eye when you talk la. irritating woman.

haha. i just had to get that off my system. anyway. yesterday morning i was supposed to go to sch for the YFC PA but erm.. i was lazy. haha so i didn't go. hope it went well. anyways. was supposed to go for cat class and teach those little primary twos. but i didn't. cos erm... i didn't feel like going. haha! so ended up sitting in parkway MPH cafe and drinking coffee. bought the phantom of the opera unabridged version. chim sia. read until cock eye le. haha. so i just down there drinking coffee and reading til like five.. then went to meet ernestine. we walked around abit. and then felt like damn sian. so went to khai theng's house. haha. then went back to parkway for dinner then olps for youth mass. i feel damn cheated la. say got fellowship after mass but don't have. wth! and the mass was kinda boring. haha. so after mass we just slacked downstairs with audrey and marcia. got free ice cream. but everything else must pay la. wth. see? genna cheated again. argh. so went home after that la. hahah at like 11? ya..

Oh ya during the mass babara called me cos my sister scolded them. haha! cos jean had a party at my condo downstairs and they decided to scream my name. haha. my sis was like damn pissed la. cos she was studying so she went down to scold them. haha! hahaha sorry k guys? don't be mad at her. haha. she was like in a bad mood anw. but i was like laughing like siao when i heard about it la. haha. so funny. hehs.

argh must go and do my geog now. wth. eeurgh.

2005-08-27T12:13:00.000+08:00

The Lord appeared to me in the form of an angel and said:
"I'm taking you home to Me tomorrow at midnight.
Before you come home, I will grant you a single wish."

"Would you like to be reunited with your bestfriend?"

I shook my head.

"Would you like your daddy to hold you like he used to?"

Again, I shook my head.

"Would you like me to cure your mother?"

I shook my head again.

"Then what would you like?"

"I want to be reunited with my bestfriend.
I want my daddy to hold me like he used to.
I want my mother to be cured...

But most of all, I want ~~everyone to be happy.~~ to see everyone trully happy.

Not just my bestfriend.
Not just my dad.
Not just my mum.
But everyone."

Reality

2005-08-26T19:53:00.000+08:00

Look around.
What do you see?
Faces lit up.
Laughter rings.
People prancing
Happily away.
Showing off their joy.
Gleefully, they play

But open your eyes.
And really see.
What's going on
Isn't what it seems.
Take a big step.
Out of your perfect world.
You're too self-absorbed
It's time you should know.

Look around.
What should you see?
Faces pulled down.
Not a smile to be seen.
Air so heavy
And thick with depression.
Happiness a rare gem
Everyone seeks with desperation.

No one's perfect.
No one's world is.
Face up to that fact.
This is called reality.

2005-08-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging! Inspite of my five mile pile of homework, i'm online! how horrid. haha. k whatever. you know why i have so much hw? cos i smartly didn't do my a math hw due like 2 weeks ago. so it was either hand it in today, or go to RTC. but i know mr tan is nice. so he'll forgive me if i hand it in tml morning. haha or at least i hope. can you believe that i actually CARE that i might get sent to RTC. shocker. haha. i know if i get any rtc records i'll be murdered brutally by ms chua. yup. how cheerful. i know. lols.

anw today after sch i was supposed to go to the library with Fiona and then go home. end of story. i had this great plan to go home and take a nice swim. and suffer through my a math hw. but obviously, just like all my other plans, this plan didn't work out. first. we went to the library. (at least one part of the plan worked out) but we didn't do what we were supposed to. then we went to the canteen to eat. haha. then we just crapped abit there. then went to the cca office. gosh it stinks of mense can! damn sick! and mel's leaving. sadness! but back to my story. we went to the mense-smelling office with jolene and counted money. how joyful and fun. counting money. on THE FLOOR. wth. FLOOR. argh. plus nagging from that woman again. annoying sia. then after that when fiona and i left the sch, we walked two bus stops away from the sch to the police station one and took 17 to pasir ris! then we took 17 again back to school. HAHA. lame can!!! too free le. then we took 22 to bedok station. hahahaha. we're so super lame la. argh. siao. so that was my day. i didn't get to take my nice swim but i still have to suffer through my a math hw. rah! tonight no need to sleep le. i think i'll fall asleep on my desk can. ah wells.

oh i'm too lazy to tag my own board so i reply you guys here k? k.

rebecca: yeah johnny depp rocks! haha!
francesca: i don't WALLOW in self pity. i just splash around abit. =Pp
su: haha thanks dearie. =))
kt: haha that was really sweet, darling. thanks =)) i'll be there for you too.
jana: haha. thanks. good luck for your exam next week =) practise real hard!
tiffany: SO THAT'S ALL I AM TO YOU? A NAG? hahaha! nah i'm just kidding! thanks anyway.. even though you just insulted me :P:P

fiona: wah we today abit high right! so embarrassing can! hahaha!
eunice: good luck for you sci mocks tml!! haha keep studying hard yeah? *muacks*
fran: don't worry too much dear, you're much stronger than me so i'll probably go insane before you do. haha. *muacksies*

2005-08-22T18:40:00.000+08:00

I realise that no matter how nice a person is, there will always be people bitching about her. why can't people learn to accept that no one is perfect. since she's trying her best to be a better person, stop putting her down by critisizing every step she makes. And another thing is that you're not perfect either and you don't see her critisizing you. so stop it.

and why be so bothered by that small group of people bitching about you? they have nothing else better to do with their lives than demoralize others. so that tiny group of people might hate you. but you have a much larger group of people who love you. they're just bitching about others cos they're trying to boost their own morale. ironically, it makes them feel better about themselves.

I've been really annoyed these past few days at the amount of backstabbing going on. wth. why can't people get lives and shut their traps. or at least think before opening their mouths. it's so frustrating that some people can be so so so so selfish. argh.

haix. i'm like damn sad now. so many things are going on. messing with my head. i don't know what to do now.. i can't think straight. screwed my piano exam. next year have to take again. sure wan lor. so pissed at my parents. "did you make any mistakes?" "yeah. alot." "why?" why? they can ask me why. how in the highest heavens would i know? think what. i make on purpose wan har. they somemore say they're not paying for my second exam la. must pay myself. my present allowance is practically same as my younger sis now can. and her ez link is they pay de. mine is i pay myself lor. wanna go and work to earn money but NO. CANNOT. MUST CONCENTRATE ON SCHOOL. wth. concentrate for what. no matter what my postition is they're not happy. don't care la. fail exam then fail la. don't retake. don't give a shit anymore.

everything i do isn't good enough.... never is never will be.... feel like just giving up on everything... everyone else is as competent as me anyway... i'm really frustrated over everything.. friendship problems.. academics.. family.. there won't be much of a diff when i'm gone.

piano exam

2005-08-21T13:47:00.000+08:00

you know what? my com is lagging again. argh!. lousiness. anyway. i'm so freaking nervous!! piano exam is TOMORROW. TOMORROW. wth. in 25 hours, everything will be over. and i'll be trying to kill myself for the mess i'll make of it. oh my. i'm so nervous!! argh....

anyway band on friday was amusing. hahaha. we had it in the geog room. and i was freezing to death there and mr de was like "it's so warm in here". GOSH. wth. k nvm. we just played there lor. actually nothing much happened. ho hum. ah wells.

after that, went to tampines library to return the stupid book with fiona. i didn't even read it la. uselessness. then took 38 to eastpoint.. went to BK haha. met zora and rachel again. always wan can. didn't see ethel for once. haha. melody and cherlie were there too. anw rachel and hf came later abit. then they did studying. i think. dunno la. but i was stoning away. then went to modena playground. hahaha. fiona and rachel were on the see saw. hahaha damn funny. fiona flew can. HAHA. then she fell of the thing. fall until damn ugly la. haha. went home quite late. reached home later than my parents can. they weren't too happy. haha. so ya..

oh man! piano exam!!! argh!!!! i'm so not ready!!!

haha that was so anti-climax. haha.

no band!

2005-08-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

Woo there wasn't band today! woohoo!!! joyfulness! haha! went to town with su and swee. haha it was quite fun! we were like walking to cine. then outside there was this guy trying to get women to go and get some dunno what gift sample thing. haha. then when we walked out of cine he was like "anyone from saint anthony's girls?" hahaha! he like so saw us! haha but quite cool man! he recognised our school u. hahaha. but we didn't go to get the free thing la. abit lame right.

haha so ya. we just walked around abit. went to wisma top shop where swee went on the internet in topman. erm. haha. so me and su walked around topshop and she tried to be a statue! hahaha! she refused to talk to me cos statues don't talk. erm. haha. so we went down to find swee and then went to Sasa. haha. and that swee go and put some dunno what thing on my face! walao! then it was like white can!! haha. if su hadn't told me i wouldn't walked around orchard with white stuff on my face. haha. then we used the sample evian water to remove it. haha. it was quite amusing. then su and swee put this thing on their hands that said "peel and reveal" haha! then when they peeled it off they were like "what is it supposed to reveal?" haha. just goes to show that these kind of stuff DON'T WORK.

so then we went to taka to get chicken balls! haha! or did we go library first? erm can't rmb. but the chicken balls were really good. haha! and the library. when we walked in everyone just stopped and stared at us. and i was like wondering why and realised it was a LIBRARY! SO WE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TALKING SO LOUDLY. hahaha. oh man i'm such an airhead. ah wells. we went to look for history book for su and swee went to the mag section to look for PORN. haha. then she was like "where the fuck is the porn man?" haha. in the end she found it. but she never look la. don't worry. haha! it was quite fun in the library. haha.

speaking of library i haven't returned the book i borrowed yet. rah! stupid sch. make us borrow books. then now have to return. wth. haha nvm tml i go. la dee la.

back to my day. erm. ya. swee had to go back for tuition so me and su went to TM. haha. met jocelyn and jaclyn there. so qiao. haha. su bought me chocs. love ya loads darling! then we had to rush home cos i needed to crap real badly. haha! anyway today was fun la. hahaha hope to go out with the two of them again! yay! haha!

eunice: don't worry about your eng mock la k? just work real hard for the actual exam. love yer loads! <3!!!

Masquearde

2005-08-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

[edit]
masks, lies, deceit,

deception, dissimulation, hypocrisy

lies. lies. lies.

masks. masks. masks.

heart ache.

heart break.

pain, sadness, torture

when will it all end?

now, later,
then, never.
waiting, praying,
hoping, craving.

enough is enough.
[/edit]

(Masquerade!) Paper faces on parade
(Masquerade!) Hide your face so the world will never find you
(Masquerade!) Every face a different shade
(Masquerade!) Look around, there's another mask behind you.

I'm home on a school afternoon!!! isn't that wonderfull? haha. anyways i spent the past half an hour reading and laughing at this site. it's really amusing. it's just this site where this group of people correct kim wakerman's english and insult her. like alot. haha. but it's quite funny.

I'm getting quite annoyed at how my teachers and parents keep droning on about how near EOY exams are. they're not even near can! nag nag nag. but i am really behind for homework and I'm failing practically every single test. Wth. Abit scared that i'll retain this year! *bites fingernails* oh man.. nvm i shall work hard from september holidays onwards. ho hum =)

piano exam is on monday! oh my! i'm freaking nervous gonna fail gonna fail gonna fail. die die die. i'm gonna pray real real hard.

Faces! Drink it in, drink it up
Till you've drowned
In the light
In the sound
But who can name the face?

2005-08-16T19:44:00.001+08:00

Oh man! St Pats Military Band rocks can!! haha. There were some cute guys too! haha! i was like sitting with fiona and tine tine and its like we all got the same taste in guys can!! haha so funny! hahaha tine really fell for the trumpet soloist! haha Wong Jingkai. haha and she actually went up to him and shook his hand! haha. brave sia. hahaha then i went to get his number for her. hahaha. IN FRONT OF DAVID GLOSZ CAN. wth. haha. pai seh sia. haha but he was cute la. haha ernestine has good taste. haha. then eunice and I actually liked this flute/piccolo player. HE WAS HOT. but i saw that he was shorter than me so i lost hope. haha and according to ernestine, HE'S GAY. haha. eunice, give up ba. haha. then got this guy from the alumni band. play trumpet also de. CUTE CAN. and the the fourth clarinet guy from the right. COOL HAIR. haha. k la whatever. haha.

Enough about the guys. we were supposed to listen to the SOUND not ogle at guys. k the sound ah? erm. quite good. hahaha. they noah's ark, jerico and phantom were quite impressive. but phantom euphonium solo flat can. disappointing. trumpet solo also screwed a little. ah well. no one's perfect. hehs. but they were really disciplined la. haha quite cool =))

K then went to have dinner with sherri, fiona and eunice. haha sherri is siao can! so super high. haha damn cute. then went to buy khoo her present. hope she likes it =)) went home not too late. ho hum.

Then monday.. fiona leng nvr go sch. argh. k la nvm. haha get well soon yeah? had band.. then so many people late. sighs.. i even wrote on the board "don't be late" and still so many people late. so we made them do punishment in front of the whole band. haha wth man. ernestine made someone do star jumps. HAHA. her boobs abit distracting sia. hahahahahahaha! funny sia.
after band went with amanda and eunice to celebrate amanda's birthday. haha. it wasn't a huge celebration. haha sorry khoo! we'll make it up you k? hehs.

today nothing eventful. miss adeline lim was in good mood. THANK GOD. haha. her lesson was quite amusing. hahaha. waited for fiona to finish practical which ended abit late. haha then went with her to cut hair, then take her book then go studio to practice piano. haha. went half an hour late can. wth. nvm la. haha one hour abit long anyways. Yup. That's it la. haha. no band on thursday! yay! i mean, oh no... HAHA.

fiona: eh you get well soon k? hahaha. your voice will go back to normal wan la. don't worry. haha! AND I DON'T EAT LOT OF CHOCOLATES CAN. you la. eat your durian. no wonder voice become like that haha!

eunice: HE'S GAY. HAHA! GIVE UP! =Þ

khoo: HAPPY BELATED, XIAO MEI!! hope you like our present =)

tine tine: good luck with JK. HAHA.

Drumline

2005-08-13T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'm like watching drumline now and it's fucking cool can! gosh. so cool. Nick Cannon is an amazing actor. haha his character has attitude sia. Anyways I love the show!!

The show has a grand total of one white dude. but who cares. haha. Ok it's about this guy, (Nick Cannon) who's amazingly talented at the snare drum. So he wins this scholarship to this school where they train like military bands. And it's DAMN COOL. it's really military and they take shit from no one. haha. band peeps, GO AND WATCH. it's so damn nice. they like teach stuff that can really apply to band life.

Like you might be the best, But when we're on the field, nobody hears you! They hear the band. Which is so damn true la. one band, one sound. that's what band is about. it's not about who's the best or who's tremendously good. It's about sounding as one. When one sucks, the whole band sucks. But when only one is good, the whole band sucks as well.

It also shows that you might be real talented but if your attitude's like fuck, you won't get anywhere. which is true as well. and this band right is like not just sit down and play. it's like they have formations and stuff. and they're like so amazing. They put singapore's national day parade to shame. haha seriously man. their lines and so damn straight la. and when they move, the lines still remain straight. it's so cool. haha everyone should watch it! ho hum =)

pissed

2005-08-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

The blame of my pain should be pinned on no one
Yet i pin it on you.
You're the cause of my sleepless nights.
Bitch you caused the pain i feel.

I'm so in a seriously bad mood now. I've been like this the whole day. Oh bitchified me. Fucking internet connection sucks. Damn it's not even in existence. I've resorted to using notepad. fuck it. with all the firewalls and virus scans still like that. why? cos some asshole switched off the firewall. so the com's probably infected by five million viruses now. My sister is insisting on talking to me. Asked her to go away and she decides to read what i'm typing. Wth. I love the privacy I have at home.

Tml no band. Probably going out. Hope I'll be in a better mood. My mind is fucked. I'm so damn pissed. Jie is sad. I'm worried for her. My house is noisy. I need ear plugs.

Mr De was called back for reservist. har de har. I'm so mean. fuck I don't care.

My internet is as fast as a three-toed sloth. This sucks. I need to talk to someone. But she didn't call. Nvm. I'm going to bed early tonight. Goodbye.

2005-08-10T18:26:00.000+08:00

I remember why I didn't want to use blogspot anymore!! cos i can't lock my entries! ah. haha. or at least, i don't know how. ah wells. we gain some we lose some. i shall just restrain myself should something piss me off. yes i will =))

Yesterday was national day. HAPPY erm, BELATED BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE! yeah it was kinda uneventful. I spent the whole day at home. watched phantom of the opera.. so nice! haha then the parade. it was boring can. NVR SHOW BAND. @!@#%$%^!$@!#!@% They didn't show the drumming thing at Tampines either. Or i missed it. aiyah whatever. BUT FIONA XIE WAS AT TAMPINES CAN. she so chio! i like! haha. should have gone. nvm la.

Then today had piano lesson at 9am. when my teacher came i was still sleeping away. SO PAI SEH. so she had to wait in the living room while i got dressed haha. so my piano lesson was cut by like 15 minutes. yay. i played badly btw so also good la. my teacher was a little frustrated so i was quite glad to see her go. hehs.

Then went to orchard with fiona. hehe it was quite fun. we were abit free la. walk from somerset to cine, then to far east, then to cine again, then to wisma, then to far east again, then to wisma again. haha oh man. we met up with dee, teresa and hf.. then after that, separate. then when going home we met up with hf again. haha. she was with jess cos they were going for bible study at YMCA so we sent them there. haha we so nice right? then went home. sounds abit sian right? but it wasn't la. hehs. we had fun trying on clothes! haha!

I can't wait for sunday!! Saint Pats Concert! yay!!! haha! those who haven't given me money yet, GIVE ME NOW. haha. i can't wait!! yay! haha

Sports Carnival

2005-08-09T13:21:00.000+08:00

Yay my links are like done le. hehs. Yesterday was so much fun! yay! haha. i'm mad. k i shall blog from sunday night k? k.

I didn't sleep at like all on sunday night cos something happened and i was so happy. haha. so i called fran up and we talk talk talk talk talk until like 4am. haha! and fall in was at 5.45? hehs. yeah then she had to go out at 7.45 or something so we hung up to let her have about 2-3 hrs of sleep hehs. So i went to bathe and then gave fiona a wake up call! haha! that was fun can! giving her 4.20 wake up call when she was supposed to call me at 5. haha. and i was abit high also la. then we talk until like 4.30 then i gave eunice a wake up call too! haha. woke her whole house up in the process! woops! haha sorry! so i had nothing to do for like an hour. so i made myself cups after cups of coffee. haha i swear, coffee is USELESS. I was ok for the beginning part of the day but by noon i was half dead le. haha but anyway. Eunice picked leng and me up in a cab at 5.30am and off we went to school. I was so happy and energetic but everyone else was like half dead. lols.

Anyway, in school. we sent them off to set instruments and fall in at 6.05 cos not all of them were there yet. so ya. when everyone was on the bus we realised that kwan yee and nikki wasn't there yet. then we waited for kwan yee and fiona and i had to like run to unlock the classroom for her instrument. madness. then we reached bedok stadium where ernestine and nikki met up with us. i was abit annoyed cos we settled down somewhere then they moved us. but nvm. the rest of the school had to STAND in the sun for the march pass while we could sit down. HAHA. ok whatever. we weren't very in tune despite all the tuning Mr. De did. But who cares cos half the school is tone deaf and couldn't tell the difference between a Flat and a Sharp. haha! the good thing is that we were we cut off at the right places. yayness. haha. good job band girls! after that we put our instruments down and gen went to take care of the instruments. Then I ran around with vanessa to spray red paint on people's hair!! haha fun fun fun. When my event, united we move, came i wanted to skip it. I was with some of the seniors but got chased away. evil. haha shouldn't have told them I was skipping my event. so i tried to slink of somewhere with su and poh but niq and dots caught us and forced us to go. but in the end we still didn't play. hahaha. we got some other magdelena sec threes to replace us. hehs. i don't regret it, after seeing how dirty eunice got. haha. anyway, i left su and poh and went to walk around with khaitheng, huifang and sherri. haha. we took pictures! so fun. can see them from Khaitheng's blog. Then went around cutting balloon strings cos huifang kept wanting different coloured balloons. haha. apparently she likes balloons. lol. anyway after a while we went back to our instruments to slack. then we started playing songs. it was so nice!! the most fun part. i think we annoyed some of the teachers cos their announcements couldn't be heard but screw them cos no one cares about announcements anyway. haha! Voices and Phantom was plain beautiful. so nice! Phantom we couldn't play fully actually. but the beginning parts were quite nice. haha. we played the old songs.. like the arts alive songs. so nice!! Love all those who were playing with us!! Teresa.. Rachel.. Huifang.. Yong Cai.. Khai Theng.. Sherrri.. Fiona.. yups. love you guys loads. it was really fun yeah? haha. when we were to board the buses there was this hoo-ha about the NDP girls and how they were supposed to follow us but they disappeared. So we got behind schedule abit and the bloody bus driver kept pestering me and i felt like punching his lights out. but he apologized later so it's all cool. haha.

Anyway after that we went for the NDP thing at simei ITE and I was damn grumpy cos of my lack of sleep and food, my stinkiness and my hair's uncanny resemblence to that of medusa's. haha! sorry lisbeth and eunice! but me and huifang left half way cos we were both falling asleep. then eunice, yong cai and lisbeth left also. so i walked hf to the bus stop then went back to find the three of them. went to eastpoint to eat kfc then yongcai went home while eunice and lisbeth came over. watched the last 10 minutes of phantom haha. so lame. cos eunice didn't watch finish the previous time. so we just slacked abit.. then eunice attempted think of me on the piano. and i was highly amused. then we took a train to tampines to meet Adlin and lisbeth went home. hehs. Went back home at like 9 plus? There was a bbq thing going on with alot of people in there. argh. but nvm.. haha. it was like adults downstairs and children upstairs. so steffi came into my room and we were just talking about stuff. then we were joined by denise, jas and erm, shanice. haha. shanice is adorable! she's this 7 year old who looks like 4 years old cos she's so small! and she kept taking my penguin pillow and using it kill my stuffed dogs going "quack! quack! quack!" lol. i tied her hair so nicely with clips and all and she decided to sleep on my bed so it was all messed up. haha. nvm i forgive her. anyway, me, steffi, jas and shanice were all squashed on my bed and i FELL ASLEEP.wth. haha. so embarrassing. then i just woke up briefly to know that they went home. and i was so sleepy i couldn't even get out of bed. so i just continued sleeping. haha

I think that was my most eventful day in a long time whee! haha. k this entry is unbelievably long. haha i shall go off now. good bye people =)

Rebels without a cause

2005-08-07T08:43:00.000+08:00

Yay a new blog! My silversilences archives were getting a little crowded so i opened a new blog! yayness. there's still like a lot to be done. Like my links. As you can see, my links are all "wateva.blogspot.com" or something like that. And this template is so gorgeously colourful, just like all my other templates. joyfulness. haha!

Lately i've been like thinking alot. And I realised that everyone is human. As annoying as some of them might get, they're only human. They have their own problems even though they might not show it. When they do their annoying stuff they actually mean well. Or they're just not thinking about the consequences and stuff. Like teachers. They're human as well. As naggy and irritating they are, they actually think about us. Like Mrs Lopez.

"Rebels without a cause" She mentioned this one day during english period. And I was like thinking about it and i realised that actually it's kinda true. Like me. I break so many school rules for absolutely no reason. I myself don't know why I break them. Hm. I actually think Mrs Lopez is a pretty cool teacher. Not physically of course. haha! It seems like she actually cares about 3/6. like how we, the students, will grow up to be instead of how we're giving her a headache. So that's pretty cool. And annoying as she might be, she actually does have our wellbeing at heart so yeah. I'm starting to appreciate her abit more.

Maybe we shouldn't be so judgemental. I mean we're human and its only natural for us to judge others but i think it hurts. I can't stand it when i'm judged but I still judge others. Like there's this certain person in band that I, as well as alot of others, have been bitching about. But if i like put myself in her shoes, I would be crying at home alot. Maybe she does have problems which she's keeping to herself. Plus she has absolutely no one. I mean, she's been bitching about me alot too. But the people she bitches too all turn on her. haha. Poor girl.

Alright. Enough of thinking. I think i think too much. haha. whateverness..

I'm so excited about Monday. I have no idea why. I have to wake up at like 5 and reach sch at 5.45am for band. then do that stupid ball thing for the sports carnival, and then go for the NDP shit. it sounds so annoying but I'm excited for it. How weird! haha!

I was a little peeved yesterday cos Mr De made decisions without telling us first. Rah. He always does that. Sometimes I really wish Sir was still with us. Although things are better than they were in the beginning. I like Mr De abit more now. Ok actually alot more. haha I don't hate him at all anymore. I think he's changed for the better. Like he's more sensitive to our feelings and he doesn't insult so much anymore. So that's good la.

Ok I'm done blogging! Tag alrights people? Haha my chatterbox abit pathetic! haha! cyerr!!